Kimberley Ink

I know I've really come to a new place with my writing when I realize how important and difficult Act 1 should be...seriously. There's all this stuff you have to lay down, and set up and if you don't do it right the rest of the script will inevitably suck.

I found a library near me, today, a real blessing. What's not a blessing is that the battery life for my iBook has diminished to around 2 hours. Bleh. I should order a new battery.

P.S...I found this awesome website, The Writer At Work which features great comics like these...



Hee hee hee. Makes me remember I'm not alone in my strange world. *snicker*

FUKENEH (or however the heck you spell that)!!!! I had to let my Producer go because he turned out to be kinda flakey. It's really disappointing, because he seemed great. Now I have to find another producer to team up with on my short, Lord willing.

But I discovered that there's a fantastic Animator at my church, so hopefully him and I will be able to have coffee soon to discuss the project, and other potential things, as he's a really great guy it seems. Whenever things come in threes I pay extra attention (three random people told me to talk to him).

Also? I want to enter my short into the British Short Screenplay Competition, but they have a maximum screentime of 15 minutes and my short is 21 pages. It's already been tightened and squished to the max. How can I make it shorter? Sucks...is what it does. Grrr! I'm trying but it's like pulling teeth. But I really want to enter the contest because I think I have a good chance with this, so long as I don't have to butcher it. :S

So my short is finished, or at least it's in the mode where it goes out to people. I'm now looking for funding via various Canadian provincial and national arts councils. Bravo, CBC, etc... and looking for a production team and an animator and wondering if I should direct or if someone else should direct. It's tough and exasperating. Seriously.

Plus, there's my damn pitch for CTV. If I can organize what's in my brain enough to actually pitch something that sounds great to CTV I could maybe get funding to develop the show, which would be fabulous. The glitch here is that I royally suck beyond all suckyness at pitching. Pitching and I do not get along.

I've also started plotting and pondering a new thriller?drama?fantasy? feature script. It's a great idea but it's flipping around in my head too much.

All the while I'm tired and can't seem to fall asleep at any remotely decent time of day and if I do I sleep too lightly and awake to the sounds of my roommate with his girl or laughing and watching TV or playing video games with his girl OR talking/singing to himself next door. Yeesh.

And I'm doubting again...just when I feel invincible or good or strong enough to take on the world, to reach that next elusive step, something comes along and sweeps the rug out from under me and here we go again! Life is freakin' strange!!!

Thank the good Lord for progress, for threshold crossing progress in a most unexpected way. I love that. I am so thankful right now.

I'm really proud of my short, because it's the best thing I have written and it's also really freakin' cool. I learned a whole lot writing, editing, and polishing it. I'm sure I'll learn tons while I try to get it made too.

Last night as I was trying to fall asleep my brain spun outta control into new feature film plotting. And this afternoon I began breaking ground on a fairytale, mystery thriller which has gone through many evolutions over method and thought and process...and has begun to shift into a really awesome place far from where it began and yet almost back there again, but from a whole new angle. I'm excited about life even though I have no idea where a paycheque will come from before my savings run out. But this is life, right? This is the journey? Right? Jump into life. Jump into story. Just...jump in!

"...knowing is better than wondering... waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying." - Meredith Grey

What sucks is the revelation that you're being too cerebral with a metaphor when you should be letting the moment be totally about the heart. Going that deep sucks because it means you have to rip into yourself. You really have to bleed all over the page...like whoever it was said about writing (just open a vein and bleed). First I had my hero digging in a tunnel and trying to run up a hill he couldn't get up, very sisyphus...but then I realized and was told that that was very obvious. Why not go deeper?

And now I have this image of an overgrown field. It's weird because it's mixing with images from Shyamalan films. I hadn't thought about M. Night Shyamalan films for a while because I hadn't watched one recently. Then my mentor mentioned that I should re-watch some Shyamalan, so I did. And as I was watching I remembered how much I love and appreciate his work regardless of how much it sometimes scares the crap outta me, or if I like the overall effect. Shyamalan is a brilliant film-maker, and the only Director who can scare the crap outta me and still get me to watch his movies again and again because they're awesome.

So should I be nervous that my overgrown field moment reminds me of Signs? Or should I just go with it...because it really has nothing to do with Signs, unless you count how Shyamalan uses sound in said field?

Hmm.

I have a short, a 20 minute really great, produce-able (never written that out before...I don't think that's right) short film that actually showcases me as a writer in a great way. How did this happen? Where did this come from?

And what do I do now (aside from polishing it to perfection)?

If you're having trouble grasping the hero's journey or how to properly put it into a script structurally? Write a short. Take the idea you've been planning to write as a feature and write it as a short. That's what I did...and it has been a huge lesson and step forward for me as a writer. At least I think it has. I'm really proud of this short, and now more eager than ever to write it into a feature (once I've polished the short). :)

I did it. I finished a short...a first draft. A damn good (I think? I hope?) first draft. Now the first two people are going to read and comment. Eep galore. I hope it's actually something good. It feels good, but is it good? Is it?

Bukowski = verbal economy. To the point. Bam. Helpful when you're getting annoyed with your voice, getting too much poetry and not enough just plain movie beats and images to propel the script along.

Also helpful? Good friends who give good advice. Like Mike, my mentor and friend who told me to try to write my mucho cool, but complicated, movie concept into a short before the feature to help me wrap my brain around the whole thing. Great advice, very exciting. I made some great progress today, which makes this writer, at least for the moment, a happy camper.

They say, "write what you know. Write what you are passionate about." But you have to write it in a way that people understand, can relate. You have to help them to feel somehow like they are a part of your story, especially if you are writing for TV. That's what it's all about. That's the great issue.

How do I help you to get my story? And how do I take all this stuff in my head and make it clear enough to a Producer or Investor, enough that he/she will give me money, to let me go forward with this story that haunts me like my protagonist's strange sight. Hmm. I don't know. All I know is this is what I know, this is what I'm passionate about: my series.

My little foray into short films was short lived as I discovered that I think my short is really more of a prose piece than a filmic one. Sadly...but the prose lead to a re-ignition (does that make sense) of my desire to write T.V. I got this book about writing for T.V. Drama and it's been sparking me. Seriously sparking...which is good.

But you know what's weird? Going through life and realizing you don't know who you are even though you thought you did. Your friends know you better than you do. They see the bag over your head. As for me right now? I talk too much and not enough and I need to focus. As I said before: freakin' focus already, Kim! Work. Write a spec. work on your series. Dammit!

I'm frustrated with my rut. My rut and I do NOT get along.

They should have deliverable coffee, like pizza. That would be great.

I've decided that I definitely want to write a Grey's Anatomy spec, but I don't have a plot or idea yet. I got season 1 (all 9 episodes, I didn't know it was so short!) and am absorbing it all, trying to live in their skin a bit, get their voices and try to see where I could maybe take them. It's exciting thinking about specs again. I haven't done that in a while. I gave up on it after Act One. Kinda freaked myself out...but here I am doing it again.

I'm also working on this short, which has become more of a statement than I thought, and I like where it's evolving too. I saw V for Vendetta last night. It was a great film. I love those kinds of films. They really get me riled up...which makes me not at all surprised with how some of the stuff on my series is developing lately. But I need to focus. FOCUS, Kim! Focus...

Being a writer is great, but there comes a time when you just really need a paycheque. When does that happen FOR the writing?

How come whenever you want to talk to someone there's no one to talk to?

That was somewhat personal. Oh well. It's my journal! Shut up! I can do what I want!

I still don't know why or where this short came from. Some themes don't surprise me, but still. I'm supposed to be working on my series concept!!

It's weird how complicated adaptation can be, even from your own works in different mediums. This new production co. wants to see some of my work. I don't know what to show at the moment because so much is in re-write mode...and I love where this new piece is going so I'm trying to put it into a script and the script version is very different from the short story version. And I need to figure out the proper hero arc for her. I could just go the artsy route, but I kind of don't want to do that. I want this to be a real genuine little film, a proper one...I spent 2 hours working on adapting my rough short story scribbles into final draft/movie style and only barely got barely through the intro. If I could make this about a 20 minute short that'd be great. It's already gone through several titles depending on medium. Ha.

(x-posted to whitemartyr)

I like development offices. I especially like the ones that feel homey and are filled with great, creative people with vision for the medium, and not just people who are trying to make a quick million (or 50). I'm much more suited to development than I am to set. I really am. I had a great meeting today. I'm going to be cutting up pictures which will be scanned into final cut and then animated. From what I was told, this short film is going to be awesome: challenging, and fabulous (and it's going to Cannes, which rocks). I'm really looking forward to helping out on it. Today reminded me of working with the Edward Feldman Co. in Los Angeles, which was a fabulous experience for me. So I am definitely noting the positive flow...

It also appears there may be some script related work coming later on through these folks. So that's good. I pulled out of the feature P.A. sitch. Just really felt the tides pulling me in another direction. And if you don't pay attention to tides you can drown so...pay attention.

...my life right now is a gift. The time I have for my brain to ponder and expand, to write. It's a gift. I need to fully embrace this gift and not, like several times before, rush off for a cure to this most wonderful thing and end up feeling kinda stupid afterward. So I am writing, and focusing on my dreams. I'm going to apply to work at Silver Snail and Pages because Lord knows my savings will run out probably sooner than I think...but my focus should be on completing a new, good TV spec and getting my series pitch/format together, and writing, writing, writing, and meeting people.

I'm meeting with someone from the National Film Board short project today. I have to take a streetcar to get there. I've never taken a streetcar. It's one of those ones you have to run out into traffic to get on. How odd, well to me.

I feel like shit, and yet I'm feeling positive. Huh. The tides are changing?

I don't want to shoot myself in the foot. Shooting self in the foot equals bad. I'm finding this whole predicament rather familiar, though. I mean, I had this opportunity to go on the theatre tour and I thought 'I should go because the door is open' and I didn't listen to my gut, but sometimes you need to close the open door...or that's what I learned in retrospect, because that particular door led to a whole big pile of badness.

Figuring out what you believe as a creative person, and how to navigate a career in muddy, muddy waters while allowing for the learning of lessons and growing as an artist, but not sacrificing your ideals, or doing something that sucks the life out of you (let's say no to vampires unless they have souls or redemptive complexes) is a whole complicated thing that I have yet to sort out.

But I wrote today, wrote for several hours. It's a short story, or something. I like it.

I'm having a meeting with another producer, someone working on a National Film Board animated short. It seems to be a really neat project. We're going to meet and discuss my potential role, etc on Wednesday. Maybe this is something that will suit me more, or just another thing to add to the resume. I don't know...

I really want to write my thriller, and get this series pitch/format/bible done. I also really really need to get myself to write a proper spec.

I'm having a dilemma. I read the script for this shoot I've been asked to volunteer for. The problem? I don't like the script. It's not a bad script per se, but it's the kind of story that really frustrates me deep into my gut because it feels like a cop out. So many stories that could be great take this easy route and it annoys the heck out of me. It's one of my peak annoyances in life right now. So can I allow myself to be a part of this production even though it grates on my soul? Umm...yeah, I have a dilemma. They're willing to train, work with me even though I have no training. And yet? I read the script and it made me angry, not the good kind of angry. The wanting to scream at the world kind of angry.

Grrr arrrgh.

I fear I may be doomed to this purgatory of self--Oh wait, I said I wasn't going to get real personal, didn't I? Stopping now.

For the record, never ask a P.A. what they're shooting. It gets really annoying after a while.

We had rain today, lots of rain but no thunder. My body hurts from standing all day and carrying various equipment from one spot to another. And I never would have thought one small area in Ontario could have sooo many sketchy and crazy people all together. Wow.

Being on this commercial shoot was quite an experience. I'm quite sure I'll like the feature shoot better though, even if it is insane hours and for free! Gotta pay your dues right? Waiting on Alison to give me the script. I hear it's creepy-awesome with a redemption story and everything. Nice. So apparently I get to pick a department I want to focus on for the feature shoot. I'm thinking I will help out the art department. Actually, the shoot was rather hellish, to be honest. I give up my brave front to reveal the true me. Set equals not for this girl, at least not P.Aing...

Our First A.D. was awesome, and so was the director, there's a real symbiosis between everyone on crew, so that was good. In all a good day of hard-work. I'm going to sleep very well tonight...